art: i gave you everything,
and this is how you repay me?
i’ve decided to unironically
become an accountant
and start inquiring around town
about how much it might cost
to employ somebody handsome
to spank me with my favorite childhood toy
i swear i only cry during sex
when i think it’s the last time
i’ll get to have sex
put an apple and a plastic baggie full of finn crisp into my backpack and found my keys and went to chinatown in chinatown i went to the asian grocery store in the asian grocery store i took a red plastic basket and walked about a meter inside inside there were tanks filled with many different kinds of animals crabs lobsters abalones shrimp prawns oysters all of these animals were in water and hanging out aimlessly there was a big tank at the top that was filled with king crabs these crabs were much bigger than other crabs and i guess that is why they cost more money i put my hand against the cold glass of the tank and a king crab stood up and greeted me i felt honoured but also bad and also stupid last week i went to the mall there are a couple malls here but i went to the really big one in the big mall there is a pet store where there are a lot of animals there are kittens you can see from outside of the store i dont have any pets but i went into the pet store to look around i took a squeaky toy from a shelf that was shaped like a cats face and walked around squeaking it at intervals i looked at the arrangement of animals it was a series of glass cubicles inside each cubicle was a creature it was a lot like those vending machines where you put in a coin and get a plastic thing with a toy inside they had a lot of different kinds of puppies they were really cute except they looked tired or worried or bored also inside of the cubicles there was shredded paper since when is it ok for them to eat that i wondered admittedly i wanted to play with them all there was one white dog which seemed older that was excitedly hopping around in a pen barking very loudly i started to feel dizzy and scared i pressed my hand against the glass of a cubicle a small puppy jumped and put his paws against my hand through the glass i guess what i am getting at is that i am easily affected by animals in cages
I follow your trail,
How are you?
I haven’t read that new essay you posted on your blog the other day. The one about Knut Hamsun’s political beliefs. I’ll try to get to it later today.
How’s your mother doing? You really need to introduce us soon, I really want to have sex with her. I know you think it’s weird, but I do.
Today I went to a used book store I hadn’t been to before. The guy who owns it is an anarchist too. Not a national-anarchist like you, or an egoist like me. He’s a left-wing insurrectionist. He told me he’d been planning to blow up the Iowa Capital Building, but he had a falling out with the people who were supposed to help him. He showed me a notebook he said had the plans in it. I think he showed me the wrong one. There were no plans in it, only poems about eating the assholes of dead young men’s cadavers. The poems were violently beautiful, like that scene in the Django Unchained trailer when blood sprays over a cotton field. I know you said you hated that movie. I haven’t seen it yet. I want to, though.
He sold me a book by Rudolf Rocker called Nationalism and Culture. It’s a thick and heavy hardcover. While I was carrying it home, I accidentally dropped it on a stray dog. I felt really guilty about that. I cried over its burst head for 2 hours. I don’t think I want the book anymore. Do you want me to give it to you? It still has some of the dog’s blood and brain meat caked on it.
I’m going to go jack off now. I’ll probably think about your mother while I do it.
Tags: blessed, burn, cross, everlasting, prayer, voice, waves
Weave thick crosses in the dirt,
dream real life fairytale,
imagine the promised world.
Echo darkened voice of God,
run to the ends of the earth.
Believe in goodness of heart.
Make beautiful things out of dust,
lift above crashing waves,
blessed when the stars burn down.
shaving the thick and
curly white pubic hairs
of foam that sprout from
prehistoric broken waves
the briny torrents
of earth’s sweat collapse
“i want to break you
open” like a sand dollar
and clutch your five
chalky dove teeth
in the padded pocket
of my left cheek
Tags: beautiful, shoplifting, target
i know the most beautiful girl
i have never seen her so scared
as she was the time she got caught shoplifting
it made me laugh
because she was still so beautiful
even with her makeup smeared
she was so scared when she got caught shoplifting
Tags: hayley vinson, it is someones birthday and that means they matter for now, poem
I woke up
In a time zone that was not mine
Until I claimed it and I screamed
“EASTERN STANDARD ME TIME”
And my existential crisis started
And I got my nipples pierced when I was
Sixteen because “Hey, why not,”
This was when I wanted to matter and
Tags: poem, poetry
The moon kisses
the smooth twinkle
of the stars blowing whistle
when the dark night
is beauty right
Tags: poem, poetry
Snow shines at night
with twinkling stardust from the heavens above
sweet as a gentle calling dove
with white feathers of love
soft to touch
give meaning so much.
Tags: carrie underwood, champagne, ecstasy, Elias Van Son, monday, NBA
it is monday
The phone wakes me at 7:48am
I hang it up
I sleep for seven more minutes with my eyes open
then swing my legs out of bed and into some boxers
The cat watches me at the refrigerator
He sees me pick up a gallon of milk
two boxes of cereal
and two strawberries
balance these items
for my move to the couch
so as to avoid those three steps back into the kitchen
I eat two bowls of cereal
mixing the brands equally
adding one berry per bowl
I watch highlights of Brandon Jennings
playing in some Baltimore summer league
because of the NBA lockout
This happens when players are greedy:
Owners get pissed
They clench their red jaws
They close the doors
and won’t even let Roger Mason Jr
into his locker for his orthopedic sneakers
I am not a mathematician but
if everyone at the Garden is paying ninety bucks
to sit in the 300 level nosebleeds
and you’re losing money
then you’re either an idiot
or a liar
I wonder how I will fill those hours
if there is no basketball season
I button my shirt
I drive my car fast with earbuds in
I step into the elevator with earbuds in
and say FIVE much too loudly when a stranger asks
The black box on the wall asks for my employee identification number
I type 6 6 6 and hit ENTER
but the black box does not laugh
I type 3 8 5 3 8 and it asks me to insert my thumb
The black box scans my thumbprint and remembers who I am
CONFIRMED it reads
surprised by its own competence
I press ENTER once more and walk away
The office is easy
It is not like the jungles of New Guinea
I sit down at the computer
I read all of your poems
When I hear someone behind me I minimize the window
pretend to be very interested in some memo from Keith
explaining that we lost the New York State Powerball again
but we must keep trying and
we’re so close he can feel it
Everyone in the office will bring him another dollar
to buy the next ticket because we are frightened
of being left behind
Everyone is older than i am
and that feels pretty good
like maybe I have time to
get myself out of this room
grow a huge beard and fight
police by throwing stones
at a helicopter we paid for
Holler at your tax dollars
ripped from the sky and burnt to ashes
Holler at lake effect snow from Buffalo
dissolving on young tongues
Every god damned thing is a sign of the Apocalypse
a lifting of the veil
Bev tells me about her cats
and what they vomit onto the carpet
She tells me about her family vacations
and how she got uppity once and asked to see the hotel manager
so they upgraded her room to a grand suite in which she could smoke cigarettes
I’m a smoker
what can I say?
She tells me about a concert
She remembers her daughter Marley bringing a friend along
though she can’t remember which one
Carrie Underwood is such a performer
She is the real deal
I get shivers just thinking about it
She tells me about letting Marley go to Warped Tour
and how it made her nervous
having her daughter so far away
I listen actively by nodding in agreement
or nodding along to the beat of words strung together
remembering key facts
so that I can say something empathetic
when she stops speaking
I am thinking about psychologists getting paid
and how my services would be considered pro bono
if I didn’t hate U2
A few more years of school would qualify me
to dissect a human brain
She pauses and I pounce on the quiet
could you sign this?
What is it?
You’re a notary public, right?
Ever since I was a kid
I worked in Albany for almost 18 years you know
then my husband moved us down here and I just kept on working
Marley was small
It’s such a hard thing because
I nod and begin to write my name
What is it
don’t sign yet
Let me find my stamp
I wait for 8 hours
let the black box read my thumb
listen for the beep
drive home to smoke cheap marijuana
and turn on a documentary about ecstasy
while drawing something in a book
This teenage girl is being interviewed
She and her boyfriend used to roll around on the daily
after parachuting pills
The boy’s whole family sits with her quietly
I begin sketching a pelican
The girl says he stopped for a while
flushed their stash while she was sleeping one off
He told me he wanted me to know
that you could feel ecstasy without taking it
which was nice except
he threw away my multivitamins
We laughed even though I was angry
We made a promise to stop together
or at least to never do it apart
He made me promise
then he went off with his friends and died from it
The dead boy’s mother pushes out an enormous lower lip
in an effort not to cry
We just miss him so much
She starts to cry
He was really a good kid
a good man
Her other children don’t say anything
They just sit there looking blank but dressed well
Their father stares at a fiber on the carpet
The girlfriend sours her mouth and raises an eyebrow
Might as well be a glass of champagne
He went behind my back
and look where he is now
A Remix of Noah Cicero’s “Two and a Half Hours of Sleep” from Pangur Ban Party using every single word and not adding any by Benjamin KingNovember 9, 2012 at 9:30 am | Posted in poem | 1 Comment
I hate this
you can’t fuck the french kids at high school
sounds to me that Noah Cicero is being sub awesome
this is god speaking
high school is high school
now this woman, Lindy, from the school, wants money
at least 67 dollars,
she is professional
yes, need to make you care
start to care
sound like you can care
can you care
can you phone them
have the second graders give the money
make it quiet
I want Michael Westen on a couch,
Instead I’m watching friends on a couch.
Notice to want is smart.
have to be clever,
and be tough.
and Notice I Keep lying so good,
What if I have to fuck this woman for two hours
What if I made myself better.
Oh is this still my Nietzsche episode?
Nietzsche would make do.
I thought of reading,
what I don’t feel I read.
even I can’t tell the difference between my life and my sub life,
I like to get up in me.
I don’t know asleep anymore.
being asleep Is not existence.
sleeping calls to the now,
the thought version is over .
my penis shows up,
Finally having sex
I have but sex before the girl says “have to Go.”
back to sleep.
I Have a dream about My mother who lays on a little girl and falls off the bed.
It doesn’t feel
I don’t know,
I don’t care,
it is just a dream.
Bring teapot, computer from bed.
turn to bathroom.
look at cup of tea,
email Noah to Get out of Korea,
Get out of Korea,
urinate on the emails.
you Turn yourself on.
a real make out man
you will Get off in the shower
fuck subs in the bathroom.
fuck all over the students bathroom,
slapstick in the sink.
haven’t You touched The place where the water comes out,
before You Took off.
oh, Shower Shave time.
shaves are fun,
go make that water dry.
But I Turn myself off.
joke face. joke. joke. joke joke.
I will gag into my Wet pajamas.
I’m a shaved wet cut,
Noah substitutes My face for a toilet.
Oh, I went there. do not go.
he and that racist high school are A joke.
They aren’t even Ironic.
Go in the coffee station
I wanna be fucking the cappuccino
what a gas
slightly long gas.
gas and sludge,
Can’t place a word that means sludge
Will drink sludge of coffee.
feel the health.
This is it
because I drink problems.